Just trying something new and being simply me...
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
late night creep
So I just got done talking to the ex effect and the prosepect is on the way!! Am I wrong? He does it!! Y do I still feel wrong?? I have to do this tho so I can get use to going out with other ppl!!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
...:::: LAST NIGHTS MISTERY ::::.....
So yea the title says it all! Its crazy but I don't even know how to put it into words. It was nice but I still had "my old news bear" on my mind!! I seem to not be able to shake him!! Man its hard moving on after a heartbreak.
Just being SIMPLY_ME!!!!
Just being SIMPLY_ME!!!!
Monday, August 17, 2009
rise and shine
So he changed his relationship status to nothing. Should I say something? Well hell I did! He did that when we start going together. Then he blantly out right flirts with A.R. And expects me not to question it. I know a lot more about them then he thinkd from their in deepth convos when WE were still together. I kindof wanna kick myself because I seen this all before it hit the fan but didn't want to believe it. Even another nigga I didn't know said "if that nigga start talking to another female and he suppose to be with you he will do it again". He was so damn right. To many times over he did that shit. Then again all I wanted to do was trust him but I can't.
Sidemote: Definitely woke up thinking about Mr. Everything!! Just wondering why does everything always lead back to him?? Is it a sign or just coscidence(sp?)?? Who knows but I am going to figure it out!!
Sidemote: Definitely woke up thinking about Mr. Everything!! Just wondering why does everything always lead back to him?? Is it a sign or just coscidence(sp?)?? Who knows but I am going to figure it out!!
WOW
I understand why you never burn bridges. Their are ppl in your past that will come right back around. My first everything, well let's just call me Mr. Everything, I called on some randomness and we talked for 3 hours. Just catching up on old times. Its crazy that we just talked and picked up where we left off. It was just more of a mature convo tho. We have both reached a new sense of maturity in our lives and its crazy we are still so cool. He says "you know my mom told me like 'everytime you break-up with someone reese does that's just God saying yall are meant to be with each other' and I think its true". He goes on to say all the right things but I start to wonder am I his rebound chick? Is he just talking this up to me to make me want to be with him again? Then it hit me like I'm not giving it a fair chance. I can hear in his voice (mind you this is an on again off again 10 year spread) his response to stuff I would usually get immature statements. He continues to say "I'm going to do everything to make you fall in love with me again. No matter who I am with they know you still have my heart". That shit blew seeing as how me and huggy bear been through some shit and worked through and he wouldn't even all himself to love me. Like I said that convo has my mind in wonder mode. What if??
Just being simply_me thinking of him....
Just being simply_me thinking of him....
moving up
So the lil big sis m boogie put me on to a song called Lesson learned by alicia keys. Now the song is crack (addicitive like the white stuff...lol) and it got me to thinking about my own personal situation.
Now as you guys may not know me and huggy bear are no longer in item. We are just "friends" what ever that is but he expects to have his cake and eat it too. Definitely not about to fuck me and other bitches. Real rude.
Anyway back to the subject to the song is basically just a I'm moving on and putting our shit in the past as lessoned learn (no pun intend). I did learn a lot about myself and the opposite sex and even tho I may fell bitter because the things I helped him get through someone else will reap the benifits.
I guess all I can do is be me and maybe the next guy that comes along will appreaciate my short comings and know that if our good out way the bad and I have given him a second chance he wants to work at it and not go through "wet dick syndrome"....lol
Defintion of "wet dick syndrome"- you jumped from one relationship to another without exploring options and then when you find a reason to end that one you jump on every available pussy to get ya dick wet.
Nasty I know but real!!
N-e-who its time to reestablish my self in this dating game and take what I have lerned to apply it to my future. No rushing I hate bringing baggage into a relationship.
Me and huggy bear was a lessoned learned and personally I'm not sure if I would want to take that class again but everything is up to God and his plans. Just know it won't be no BS takin if I do take that class again.
Summer 2009 Lesson's Learned!!
I'm just being SIMPLY_ME!!!!
Now as you guys may not know me and huggy bear are no longer in item. We are just "friends" what ever that is but he expects to have his cake and eat it too. Definitely not about to fuck me and other bitches. Real rude.
Anyway back to the subject to the song is basically just a I'm moving on and putting our shit in the past as lessoned learn (no pun intend). I did learn a lot about myself and the opposite sex and even tho I may fell bitter because the things I helped him get through someone else will reap the benifits.
I guess all I can do is be me and maybe the next guy that comes along will appreaciate my short comings and know that if our good out way the bad and I have given him a second chance he wants to work at it and not go through "wet dick syndrome"....lol
Defintion of "wet dick syndrome"- you jumped from one relationship to another without exploring options and then when you find a reason to end that one you jump on every available pussy to get ya dick wet.
Nasty I know but real!!
N-e-who its time to reestablish my self in this dating game and take what I have lerned to apply it to my future. No rushing I hate bringing baggage into a relationship.
Me and huggy bear was a lessoned learned and personally I'm not sure if I would want to take that class again but everything is up to God and his plans. Just know it won't be no BS takin if I do take that class again.
Summer 2009 Lesson's Learned!!
I'm just being SIMPLY_ME!!!!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
SINGLE LIFE: Day 1 & 2
So my 1 year and 2 month and 13 day relationship is over as of july 13th. My first day was horrible just not stop crying and drinking. Today I'm a lil better but the wounds are still fresh. Just hearing his voice and even turning on the T.V. And seeing his favorite movie "vampire in brooklyn" pours the salt in the wounds and silent tears roll. Break-ups I use to care less about but this one takes the cake. The one time I truely love someone and I loose them. I have learned a lot and seen a lot in the relationship and I thank him for it. Now I just have to realize the beautiful me that I am and live for me and again and find out who I am again!! I'm sad as I type but I came I saw and I conquered a lot!!
The first week is always the worst week!!
The first week is always the worst week!!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
pain
I guess pain is inevitable but right now I really can't deal. I let my gaurd down to trust and love and this is wat happens. I get hurt.... Woke up out of my sleep crying cuz it hurts so much that my dreams are all about him and someone else. Can I see her no but its not me and that's what hurts. It may sound crazy to you but my dreams always come true and this is one I wish won't. I do wish him happiness and peace but it hurts to think it won't come from me. Wat is pain?? Relationships, bad friendships and so much more. It all hurts so bad but if I want to move forward I have to ask God for forgiveness and give it over to him. Its always said what God is tearing apart let no man keep together.... Well God I'm humble at your service where I should have been from the start!!!!
It HURTS now to just be SIMPLY_ME....
It HURTS now to just be SIMPLY_ME....
Monday, July 6, 2009
NOUN: Person, Place or Thing...IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP THAT IS...
Sometimes I feel like I over think things but then again its how I feel
you can never over think your feelings toward a person, place or thing...
I can honestly say that yea I do over think but thats because whoever the person
maybe underthinks my feelings in the situation and how it would effect me...
I know it hurts but sometimes I just want to grab hold of the person, place or thing and
shake the hell out of them and tell them to "STOP LOOKING FOR WHATS RIGHT
IN FRONT OF YOU"...
Being real hell I had to shake myself and realize what I have in front of me...
I having feelings towards a certain person, place, or thing and it does not dig me the
same way....GOSH DARNIT IT HURTS... Hell it even drives you to seek that approval,
love and desire to be with you from someone else...
but lets be real what you are not getting from the person, place or thing in front of you is simply
b/c you have not openned your mouth to that person, place, or thing and let them
know "HEY I FEEL NEGLECTED, I DONT FEEL LIKE A TOP PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE, I FEEL LIKE THIS AND THAT ETC...." but what you need to be ready to hear
is "WHAT ABOUT HOW I FEEL" shocker huh???
See what most people do in a relationship is forget to replace that "I" with and "U"...
cuz when you are in a relationship with that person, place or thing its not all about you...its about us, we, and our....
You can not wait for the questions of
"WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE IT BETTER"
its
"WHAT CAN WE DO TO MAKE IT BETTER"
you have to be humble enough to know that it takes two to get into an argument or
throw petty blows...
Now if you are like me and its hard to express yourself to your person, place or thing b/c you
are fragile and do not want your feelings to be taken lightly
or used against you in anyway...then let the person, place or thing know that...
Its going to be hard b/c no on changes overnight but as a couple if you really
want the best for that person and you feel its not you b/c you want to still explore
or you are just toooooo fragile to handle then LET THEM KNOW.....
not only have I done this before but I have watched ppl hang on to a person, place or thing
they have no genuine interest in being with anymore....its not bad to fall out of like or love
with someone that just shows maturity at its finest....
you have to be able to be real and say look 'I CAN NOT HANDLE WE ANYMORE...
I LOVED THE IDEA OF WE AT THE BEGINNING BUT IT HAS DWINDLED BACK TO I...I
LOVED YOUR CONVO AND PRESENCE BUT NOW WE DONT LOVE EACH OTHERS CONVO, PRESENCES AND PERSONALITY...THE "I" THAT I HAVE GROWN INTO CAN NO LONGER HANDLE "WE"...."
Now I know yall are thinking OH DAMN SHE IS ABOUT TO DROP THE BALL but no I believe in fighting for my WE no matter how hard the storms come or how petty the arguments get...... What I have learned from my current person, place, or thing is that its gonna be a fight but
do not just jump ship b/c shit is not going your way....
when you are in a relatuonshup its about COMPROMISE....now see i had to learn
the hard way that its not all about SIMPLY_ME...its about....SIMPLY WE....
I use to worry more about how I felt and not asked my person, place or thing how
he felt in the situation......My feelings have been hurt and I may or may not have hurt his in return and honestly THATS THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO....
See my person, place or thing is someone I know I can trust in any situation
but I dont think I am good at handling people telling me stuff that contradicts what my person,
place or thing says or does.... believe me SOME DAYS I HAVE TRIPPED FOR NOTHING...lol...I know its not funny to start stupid arguments but it trips me out when I think back on it!!!!
I will say that some stuff I feel I was manipulated and reverse psychologied (i know its not a word...lol) into thinking I was wrong for bringing it up but being the person
that I am I am not a master of arguing but im not a master of expressing feelings either to my
person, place or thing which can cause arguments but im working on it...lol
Now I can say I love to write but he hates to read it but he makes the sacrafice and does
it b/c its how I feel and my best way to express and how I can get everything out....
Now my person, place or thing worked hard and we and now its seems the roles have switched..
he got tired of working hard and me not putting forth the same effort for TEAM WE and now I am feeling the same way he was wanting to just say fuck it....
being real I love my Person, Place or thing through the storm b/c I learn something new
from him everyday......Besides God and My Mom and family and money he is my motivation to do great things in life...... To hear him say im proud lightens up my day but he just does not know it....
but i love my PERSON, PLACE OR THING and right now he is more than enough for me but i am never neive.....
I'm just being....SIMPLY_ME
CAN YOU HANDLE IT....LOL
you can never over think your feelings toward a person, place or thing...
I can honestly say that yea I do over think but thats because whoever the person
maybe underthinks my feelings in the situation and how it would effect me...
I know it hurts but sometimes I just want to grab hold of the person, place or thing and
shake the hell out of them and tell them to "STOP LOOKING FOR WHATS RIGHT
IN FRONT OF YOU"...
Being real hell I had to shake myself and realize what I have in front of me...
I having feelings towards a certain person, place, or thing and it does not dig me the
same way....GOSH DARNIT IT HURTS... Hell it even drives you to seek that approval,
love and desire to be with you from someone else...
but lets be real what you are not getting from the person, place or thing in front of you is simply
b/c you have not openned your mouth to that person, place, or thing and let them
know "HEY I FEEL NEGLECTED, I DONT FEEL LIKE A TOP PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE, I FEEL LIKE THIS AND THAT ETC...." but what you need to be ready to hear
is "WHAT ABOUT HOW I FEEL" shocker huh???
See what most people do in a relationship is forget to replace that "I" with and "U"...
cuz when you are in a relationship with that person, place or thing its not all about you...its about us, we, and our....
You can not wait for the questions of
"WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE IT BETTER"
its
"WHAT CAN WE DO TO MAKE IT BETTER"
you have to be humble enough to know that it takes two to get into an argument or
throw petty blows...
Now if you are like me and its hard to express yourself to your person, place or thing b/c you
are fragile and do not want your feelings to be taken lightly
or used against you in anyway...then let the person, place or thing know that...
Its going to be hard b/c no on changes overnight but as a couple if you really
want the best for that person and you feel its not you b/c you want to still explore
or you are just toooooo fragile to handle then LET THEM KNOW.....
not only have I done this before but I have watched ppl hang on to a person, place or thing
they have no genuine interest in being with anymore....its not bad to fall out of like or love
with someone that just shows maturity at its finest....
you have to be able to be real and say look 'I CAN NOT HANDLE WE ANYMORE...
I LOVED THE IDEA OF WE AT THE BEGINNING BUT IT HAS DWINDLED BACK TO I...I
LOVED YOUR CONVO AND PRESENCE BUT NOW WE DONT LOVE EACH OTHERS CONVO, PRESENCES AND PERSONALITY...THE "I" THAT I HAVE GROWN INTO CAN NO LONGER HANDLE "WE"...."
Now I know yall are thinking OH DAMN SHE IS ABOUT TO DROP THE BALL but no I believe in fighting for my WE no matter how hard the storms come or how petty the arguments get...... What I have learned from my current person, place, or thing is that its gonna be a fight but
do not just jump ship b/c shit is not going your way....
when you are in a relatuonshup its about COMPROMISE....now see i had to learn
the hard way that its not all about SIMPLY_ME...its about....SIMPLY WE....
I use to worry more about how I felt and not asked my person, place or thing how
he felt in the situation......My feelings have been hurt and I may or may not have hurt his in return and honestly THATS THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO....
See my person, place or thing is someone I know I can trust in any situation
but I dont think I am good at handling people telling me stuff that contradicts what my person,
place or thing says or does.... believe me SOME DAYS I HAVE TRIPPED FOR NOTHING...lol...I know its not funny to start stupid arguments but it trips me out when I think back on it!!!!
I will say that some stuff I feel I was manipulated and reverse psychologied (i know its not a word...lol) into thinking I was wrong for bringing it up but being the person
that I am I am not a master of arguing but im not a master of expressing feelings either to my
person, place or thing which can cause arguments but im working on it...lol
Now I can say I love to write but he hates to read it but he makes the sacrafice and does
it b/c its how I feel and my best way to express and how I can get everything out....
Now my person, place or thing worked hard and we and now its seems the roles have switched..
he got tired of working hard and me not putting forth the same effort for TEAM WE and now I am feeling the same way he was wanting to just say fuck it....
being real I love my Person, Place or thing through the storm b/c I learn something new
from him everyday......Besides God and My Mom and family and money he is my motivation to do great things in life...... To hear him say im proud lightens up my day but he just does not know it....
but i love my PERSON, PLACE OR THING and right now he is more than enough for me but i am never neive.....
I'm just being....SIMPLY_ME
CAN YOU HANDLE IT....LOL
Saturday, July 4, 2009
80 or 20...i wonder....
OKAY SO THERE IS THIS RULE CALLED THE 80/20 RIGHT??
SO AS YOU KNOW I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH SO MUCH WITH
MY FEELINGS, MY LIFE (BOTH PERSONAL AND FAM).
ITS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO EXPRESS MYSELF TO PEOPLE AND
I THINK NO I KNOW THAT I USE THIS AS AN OUTLET TO LET MY SELF
BE HEARD UNTIL I CAN FIND THE RIGHT TIME TO EXPRESS THEM.
SO THIS WHOLE BLOGGING THING HELPS ME TO REEVALUATE SOME OF THE
PREVIOUS PROSPECTIVES I HAVE STATED BEFORE...
I MEAN I JUST LOVE TO VENT ON HERE AND GET IT ALL OUT. NOW I KNOW
THIS IS NOT GOING WITH THE TITLE RIGHT NOW BUT BEAR WITH ME.
I KNOW THAT I CAN BE A BITCH AND TIMES AND I EVEN KNOW THAT SOMETIMES
I AM AT FAULT FOR THINGS BUT I WILL NOT ADMIT THAT TO PERSON
AT HAND I HAVE DONE WRONG OR UPSET....
I THINK ITS A PRIDE ISSUE WITH ME......A MISOGYNISTIC MIND SET IF YOU WILL...
NOW I KNOW THAT I GIVE 80 TO 100 IN ALL RELATIONSHIPS SO I FEEL THAT I
FIT THE 80 ASPECT OF THE 80/20 RULE.....I AM A GREAT GIRL AND DESERVE TO
BE TREATED AS SUCH...WHAT I THINK FALLS APART FOR ME IS WHEN
THE PERSON I AM WITH GETS CAUGHT UP IN MY KINDNESS AND ME EXPRESSING
MY TRUE FEELINGS ITS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF....
I ALWAYS MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEM "WELL HE DOESN'T MEAN IT....", "I THINK ITS SOMETHING I DID..." OR SOME BS LIKE THAT....
I MEAN YEA I MAKE MISTAKES BUT IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE THE ARGUMENT
HAPPEN. THERE IS NO WAY THAT EVERYDAY I TALK TO SOMEONE I
GET ANNOYED BY THEM JUST SAYING "HI" TO ME.....THIS IS CRAZY...
MAYBE HE IS MY 20....NOT MY 80....
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE OTHER FEMALES(OUTSIDE OF FAM OF COURSE) ARE
MORE IMPORTANT TO HIM KEEPING HAPPY THAN ME......HE DOESN'T SEE
THAT HE SEES IT AS I AM JUST TRYING TO GET HIM TO CUT ALL FEMALE FRIEND
TIES BUT I AM JUST ASKING FOR THE RESPECT I DESERVE....I GIVE HIM
THAT RESPECT BUT I GUESS HE IS MORE CONCERNED OF MAKING SURE HE HAS BACKUP CHICKS AND HE IS NOT FOCUSING ON ME....
THAT CAN BE A PROBLEM...
MEN WHEN YOU HAVE 80 MAKE SURE YOU ARE DOING WHATEVER YOU CAN TO
KEEP THEM HAPPY CUZ AS QUICK AS WE CAME IS AS QUICK AS WE WILL GO
AND MY FUSE IS GETTING SHORTER AND SHORTER....
I DONT KNOW IF ITS WORTH IT ANYMORE..MY HEART SAYS LEAVE BUT MY MIND SAYS STAY CUZ HE IS A REALLY GOOD GUY....BUT IN ALL REALNESS NO ONE ELSE SEES WHAT I SEE ON A REGULAR BASIS AND HEARS WHAT I HEAR ON A REGULAR BASIS. THEY ONLY KNOW HIM AS A FRIEND BUT I KNOW HIM AS MUCH MORE....
WHAT TO DO I DONT KNOW BUT PRAYER IS DEFINITELY THE WAY TO GET MY ANSWER.....
IM 80 BUT ONLY GETTING 20 AND ALWAYS BEING......Simply_Me....
SO AS YOU KNOW I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH SO MUCH WITH
MY FEELINGS, MY LIFE (BOTH PERSONAL AND FAM).
ITS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO EXPRESS MYSELF TO PEOPLE AND
I THINK NO I KNOW THAT I USE THIS AS AN OUTLET TO LET MY SELF
BE HEARD UNTIL I CAN FIND THE RIGHT TIME TO EXPRESS THEM.
SO THIS WHOLE BLOGGING THING HELPS ME TO REEVALUATE SOME OF THE
PREVIOUS PROSPECTIVES I HAVE STATED BEFORE...
I MEAN I JUST LOVE TO VENT ON HERE AND GET IT ALL OUT. NOW I KNOW
THIS IS NOT GOING WITH THE TITLE RIGHT NOW BUT BEAR WITH ME.
I KNOW THAT I CAN BE A BITCH AND TIMES AND I EVEN KNOW THAT SOMETIMES
I AM AT FAULT FOR THINGS BUT I WILL NOT ADMIT THAT TO PERSON
AT HAND I HAVE DONE WRONG OR UPSET....
I THINK ITS A PRIDE ISSUE WITH ME......A MISOGYNISTIC MIND SET IF YOU WILL...
NOW I KNOW THAT I GIVE 80 TO 100 IN ALL RELATIONSHIPS SO I FEEL THAT I
FIT THE 80 ASPECT OF THE 80/20 RULE.....I AM A GREAT GIRL AND DESERVE TO
BE TREATED AS SUCH...WHAT I THINK FALLS APART FOR ME IS WHEN
THE PERSON I AM WITH GETS CAUGHT UP IN MY KINDNESS AND ME EXPRESSING
MY TRUE FEELINGS ITS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF....
I ALWAYS MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEM "WELL HE DOESN'T MEAN IT....", "I THINK ITS SOMETHING I DID..." OR SOME BS LIKE THAT....
I MEAN YEA I MAKE MISTAKES BUT IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE THE ARGUMENT
HAPPEN. THERE IS NO WAY THAT EVERYDAY I TALK TO SOMEONE I
GET ANNOYED BY THEM JUST SAYING "HI" TO ME.....THIS IS CRAZY...
MAYBE HE IS MY 20....NOT MY 80....
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE OTHER FEMALES(OUTSIDE OF FAM OF COURSE) ARE
MORE IMPORTANT TO HIM KEEPING HAPPY THAN ME......HE DOESN'T SEE
THAT HE SEES IT AS I AM JUST TRYING TO GET HIM TO CUT ALL FEMALE FRIEND
TIES BUT I AM JUST ASKING FOR THE RESPECT I DESERVE....I GIVE HIM
THAT RESPECT BUT I GUESS HE IS MORE CONCERNED OF MAKING SURE HE HAS BACKUP CHICKS AND HE IS NOT FOCUSING ON ME....
THAT CAN BE A PROBLEM...
MEN WHEN YOU HAVE 80 MAKE SURE YOU ARE DOING WHATEVER YOU CAN TO
KEEP THEM HAPPY CUZ AS QUICK AS WE CAME IS AS QUICK AS WE WILL GO
AND MY FUSE IS GETTING SHORTER AND SHORTER....
I DONT KNOW IF ITS WORTH IT ANYMORE..MY HEART SAYS LEAVE BUT MY MIND SAYS STAY CUZ HE IS A REALLY GOOD GUY....BUT IN ALL REALNESS NO ONE ELSE SEES WHAT I SEE ON A REGULAR BASIS AND HEARS WHAT I HEAR ON A REGULAR BASIS. THEY ONLY KNOW HIM AS A FRIEND BUT I KNOW HIM AS MUCH MORE....
WHAT TO DO I DONT KNOW BUT PRAYER IS DEFINITELY THE WAY TO GET MY ANSWER.....
IM 80 BUT ONLY GETTING 20 AND ALWAYS BEING......Simply_Me....
Saturday, June 27, 2009
so much on me
I HAVE SO MUCH ON ME MORE SO ON MY MIND ITS CRAZY...
I DON'T FEEL LIKE ME AT ALLIN MY SITUATION...ITS LIKE I'm CHANGING TO FIT WHAT HE WANTS ME TO BE BUT ITS HELL TO GET HIM TO DO THE SAME...
I FEEL MORE INVESTED IN THIS WHOLE THING THAN HE DOES. LIKE I'm PUTTING MY ALL INTO IT BUT I CAN'T GET IT IN RETURN!! I'm NOT HAPPY LIKE I WAS BEFORE.... WAT SHOULD I DO SHOULD I FOLLOW MY HEART AND LEAVE OR KEEP HOLDING ON TO THIS CRUTCH CUZ I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE??
WAS THIS JUST A LEAF ON MY TREE THAT I'm TRYING TO MAKE A ROOT?? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!!
I DON'T FEEL LIKE ME AT ALLIN MY SITUATION...ITS LIKE I'm CHANGING TO FIT WHAT HE WANTS ME TO BE BUT ITS HELL TO GET HIM TO DO THE SAME...
I FEEL MORE INVESTED IN THIS WHOLE THING THAN HE DOES. LIKE I'm PUTTING MY ALL INTO IT BUT I CAN'T GET IT IN RETURN!! I'm NOT HAPPY LIKE I WAS BEFORE.... WAT SHOULD I DO SHOULD I FOLLOW MY HEART AND LEAVE OR KEEP HOLDING ON TO THIS CRUTCH CUZ I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE??
WAS THIS JUST A LEAF ON MY TREE THAT I'm TRYING TO MAKE A ROOT?? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!!
Friday, June 26, 2009
.:::::PROBLEMS::::.
SO HUGGY BEAR WENT TO NO AND WON'T RESPOND TO MY TEXTS!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING TO US BUT I'm TIRED OF TRYING!! I DON'T FEEL HE WANTS THIS ANYMORE!! I'm NOT SURE IF I DO!! THIS IS TO MUCH FOR ME TO WORRY ABOUT....I'm TIRED OF BEING SECOND TO EVER FEMALE THAT'S NOT APRT OF HIS FAMILY!! I'm DONE!!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
.::HELLO::.
I HAVE NOT BEEN ON HERE IN A WHILE BUT I JUST WANT
MY BF MBOOGIE TO KNOW THAT I LOVE HER AND I
AM HERE FOR HER. I HAVE BEEN FACING ALOT OF MY DEMONS
LATELY AND KNOCKING THEM DOWN ONE BY ONE.
GOD IS THE CENTER OF MY LIFE AND HE WILL GUIDE ME
THROUGH. PEACE IS LOVE
I'm just being.....SIMPLY_ME
MY BF MBOOGIE TO KNOW THAT I LOVE HER AND I
AM HERE FOR HER. I HAVE BEEN FACING ALOT OF MY DEMONS
LATELY AND KNOCKING THEM DOWN ONE BY ONE.
GOD IS THE CENTER OF MY LIFE AND HE WILL GUIDE ME
THROUGH. PEACE IS LOVE
I'm just being.....SIMPLY_ME
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
..::WHAT AM I GOING TO DO::..
I FEEL LIKE I AM LOOSING HIM....
I WAS ALWAYS TOLD NOT TO PUT MORE IN THEN YOU GET BUT
I REALLY FEEL LIKE HE IS THE RIGHT ONE TO HELP ME THROUGH MY TRIALS...
I THINK HE MIGHT BE SCARED TO LOVE ME OR JUST DOES
NOT SEE ME AND HIM GOING THAT FAR BUT
HUGGY BEAR CAN SAY HE HAS ME...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN WITH A GUY AND NOT HAD A "TEAM" ON THE SIDE
BUT WITH HIM I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT....
I CAN RELEASE MYSELF BUT I MAKE IT SO HARD FOR HIM
TO GET IN... MAYBE ITS ME WHO DOES NOT WANT
TO LET HIM CARE FOR ME...
I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M NOT WORTH ALL THE LOVE AND ATTENTION
HE GIVES SOMETIMES....
IDK BUT I HAVE TO GET TOGETHER CUZ I AM LOOSING HIM...
(F.Y.I. ONLY SEX WITH THE MAIN THE OTHERS WERE TO KEEP ME ENTERTAINED)
I'm just being....SIMPLY_ME....
I WAS ALWAYS TOLD NOT TO PUT MORE IN THEN YOU GET BUT
I REALLY FEEL LIKE HE IS THE RIGHT ONE TO HELP ME THROUGH MY TRIALS...
I THINK HE MIGHT BE SCARED TO LOVE ME OR JUST DOES
NOT SEE ME AND HIM GOING THAT FAR BUT
HUGGY BEAR CAN SAY HE HAS ME...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN WITH A GUY AND NOT HAD A "TEAM" ON THE SIDE
BUT WITH HIM I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT....
I CAN RELEASE MYSELF BUT I MAKE IT SO HARD FOR HIM
TO GET IN... MAYBE ITS ME WHO DOES NOT WANT
TO LET HIM CARE FOR ME...
I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M NOT WORTH ALL THE LOVE AND ATTENTION
HE GIVES SOMETIMES....
IDK BUT I HAVE TO GET TOGETHER CUZ I AM LOOSING HIM...
(F.Y.I. ONLY SEX WITH THE MAIN THE OTHERS WERE TO KEEP ME ENTERTAINED)
I'm just being....SIMPLY_ME....
Thursday, February 12, 2009
.:FEMALES:. OH HOW I HATE THE LET ME COUNT THE WAYS....
SO I JUST REALIZED THAT I AM A VERY JEALOUS PERSON IN RELATIONSHIPS
I DON'T LIKE FOR MY MAN TO TALK TO OTHER FEMALES LATE AT NIGHT
I MEAN AM I WRONG FOR ASKING FOR THAT RESPECT??
WHETHER I AM THERE OR NOT...I FEEL IF YOU CAN'T TALK TO THE FEMALE
IN FRONT OF ME AND HAVE A CONVO IN FRONT OF ME THEN
YOU DON'T NEED TO BE TALKING TO HER ASS....
NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT...
FIRST RELATIONSHIP THAT I HAVE BEEN A PRIVATE EYE
AND THE SAYING IS TRUE....IF YOU LOOK FOR SHIT YOU WILL FIND BIGGER SHIT....
I MEAN IT TRIPS ME OUT TO THE MAX...
FEMALES SAY THEY WOULD NEVER COME BTW A MAN AND HIS OWN BUT
I CAN SEE RIGHT NOW THAT THESE YOUNG CHICKS WITH MEN OR NOT
WILL STILL PRESS THEIR LUCK...
I MEAN I HATE TO HAVE TO CHECK SOMEONE BUT IN MY CURRENT SITUATION
I JUST MIGHT HAVE TOO....
I KNOW THAT I CHANGE FROM MY OLD WAYS OF JUST STRAIGHT GOING OFF
ON A FEMALE .....
I CAN HONESTLY SAY I HAVE MATURED BUT ITS JUST FEMALES THESE DAYS THAT WANT ME TO CUSS THEY ASS OUT...
YOU TRY TO ASK THEM NICELY...."CALL HIM AT A MORE APPROPRIATE HOUR NOT AT 1234 IN THE MORNING"
THEN THEY TURN AROUND AND TALK SHIT TO YOUR MAN ABOUT
HIM HAVE A "LEASH"......
GIRL PLEASE....I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO CONTACT YOUR MAN AND SEE WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT YOUR LATE NIGHT CALLS TO ANOTHER NIGGA.....
DO YOU THINK HE WOULD BE LAID BACK ABOUT IT....
I THINK NOT.....
WELL IF I AM PUSHED TO THE LIMIT I WILL TAKE IT THERE AND FORWARD TO HIM ALL OF THE MESSAGE
CUZ I HAVE THEM IN MY PHONE...LOL
FEMALES ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL....
I CAN NOT PUT IT ALL ON THEM THO...
I HAVE TO SAY THAT THEY ARE NOT ALL TO BLAME
SEE MISTER HUGGY BEAR NEEDS TO LET THEM KNOW ITS NOT
COOL AND DONT JOKE ABOUT THE SHIT WITH THEM
PUT THE C.HICK IN HER PLACE......
OR I WILL....
Trying to be just.....SIMPLY_ME
p.s. BUT THESE FEMALES ARE TURNING ME INTO SOMETHING ELSE...
I DON'T LIKE FOR MY MAN TO TALK TO OTHER FEMALES LATE AT NIGHT
I MEAN AM I WRONG FOR ASKING FOR THAT RESPECT??
WHETHER I AM THERE OR NOT...I FEEL IF YOU CAN'T TALK TO THE FEMALE
IN FRONT OF ME AND HAVE A CONVO IN FRONT OF ME THEN
YOU DON'T NEED TO BE TALKING TO HER ASS....
NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT...
FIRST RELATIONSHIP THAT I HAVE BEEN A PRIVATE EYE
AND THE SAYING IS TRUE....IF YOU LOOK FOR SHIT YOU WILL FIND BIGGER SHIT....
I MEAN IT TRIPS ME OUT TO THE MAX...
FEMALES SAY THEY WOULD NEVER COME BTW A MAN AND HIS OWN BUT
I CAN SEE RIGHT NOW THAT THESE YOUNG CHICKS WITH MEN OR NOT
WILL STILL PRESS THEIR LUCK...
I MEAN I HATE TO HAVE TO CHECK SOMEONE BUT IN MY CURRENT SITUATION
I JUST MIGHT HAVE TOO....
I KNOW THAT I CHANGE FROM MY OLD WAYS OF JUST STRAIGHT GOING OFF
ON A FEMALE .....
I CAN HONESTLY SAY I HAVE MATURED BUT ITS JUST FEMALES THESE DAYS THAT WANT ME TO CUSS THEY ASS OUT...
YOU TRY TO ASK THEM NICELY...."CALL HIM AT A MORE APPROPRIATE HOUR NOT AT 1234 IN THE MORNING"
THEN THEY TURN AROUND AND TALK SHIT TO YOUR MAN ABOUT
HIM HAVE A "LEASH"......
GIRL PLEASE....I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO CONTACT YOUR MAN AND SEE WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT YOUR LATE NIGHT CALLS TO ANOTHER NIGGA.....
DO YOU THINK HE WOULD BE LAID BACK ABOUT IT....
I THINK NOT.....
WELL IF I AM PUSHED TO THE LIMIT I WILL TAKE IT THERE AND FORWARD TO HIM ALL OF THE MESSAGE
CUZ I HAVE THEM IN MY PHONE...LOL
FEMALES ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL....
I CAN NOT PUT IT ALL ON THEM THO...
I HAVE TO SAY THAT THEY ARE NOT ALL TO BLAME
SEE MISTER HUGGY BEAR NEEDS TO LET THEM KNOW ITS NOT
COOL AND DONT JOKE ABOUT THE SHIT WITH THEM
PUT THE C.HICK IN HER PLACE......
OR I WILL....
Trying to be just.....SIMPLY_ME
p.s. BUT THESE FEMALES ARE TURNING ME INTO SOMETHING ELSE...
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
sorry hun
OK so my friend that started me blogging
has been upset with me that i have not been
keeping up with it so i am back on it for the 2009
i have so much to tell you guys and so many questions to ask
well i hope you will enjoy the blogs to come because they
will share a side of me that i rarely let anyone know
let alone read about me
i think this blogging will be very
therapeutic for me....
I love my life and love being......SIMPLY_ME
has been upset with me that i have not been
keeping up with it so i am back on it for the 2009
i have so much to tell you guys and so many questions to ask
well i hope you will enjoy the blogs to come because they
will share a side of me that i rarely let anyone know
let alone read about me
i think this blogging will be very
therapeutic for me....
I love my life and love being......SIMPLY_ME
Thursday, January 1, 2009
NEW YEAR'S
HEY IS 09
I HAVE NEW FRIENDSHIPS AND A NEW ME
I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO TO PROGRESS AND PROCEED
SO I CAN REACH MY ULTIMATE GOAL OF BECOMING
ONE WITH GOD AND FINDING (WELL I ALREADY FOUND ONE.... :-}) A MAN TRYING TO REACH THAT SAME GOAL....
I LOVE MY M BOOGIE BUT.....
I LOVE MY HUGGY BEAR MORE
ONLY THING IS I HAVE TO GET ENOUGH BALLS
TO TELL HIM HOW I REALLY FEEL...I AM JUST SCARED
THAT HE DOES NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY...
I'M SCARED OF REJECTION....JUST ANOTHER THING I HAVE TO
GET OVER IN THE 09...
P.S. I CAN HONESTLY SAY HE IS MY FIRST TRUE LOVE.....
I'm just being......SIMPLY_ME
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