late night creep

So I just got done talking to the ex effect and the prosepect is on the way!! Am I wrong? He does it!! Y do I still feel wrong?? I have to do this tho so I can get use to going out with other ppl!!

...:::: LAST NIGHTS MISTERY ::::.....

So yea the title says it all! Its crazy but I don't even know how to put it into words. It was nice but I still had "my old news bear" on my mind!! I seem to not be able to shake him!! Man its hard moving on after a heartbreak.

Just being SIMPLY_ME!!!!

rise and shine

So he changed his relationship status to nothing. Should I say something? Well hell I did! He did that when we start going together. Then he blantly out right flirts with A.R. And expects me not to question it. I know a lot more about them then he thinkd from their in deepth convos when WE were still together. I kindof wanna kick myself because I seen this all before it hit the fan but didn't want to believe it. Even another nigga I didn't know said "if that nigga start talking to another female and he suppose to be with you he will do it again". He was so damn right. To many times over he did that shit. Then again all I wanted to do was trust him but I can't.

Sidemote: Definitely woke up thinking about Mr. Everything!! Just wondering why does everything always lead back to him?? Is it a sign or just coscidence(sp?)?? Who knows but I am going to figure it out!!

WOW

I understand why you never burn bridges. Their are ppl in your past that will come right back around. My first everything, well let's just call me Mr. Everything, I called on some randomness and we talked for 3 hours. Just catching up on old times. Its crazy that we just talked and picked up where we left off. It was just more of a mature convo tho. We have both reached a new sense of maturity in our lives and its crazy we are still so cool. He says "you know my mom told me like 'everytime you break-up with someone reese does that's just God saying yall are meant to be with each other' and I think its true". He goes on to say all the right things but I start to wonder am I his rebound chick? Is he just talking this up to me to make me want to be with him again? Then it hit me like I'm not giving it a fair chance. I can hear in his voice (mind you this is an on again off again 10 year spread) his response to stuff I would usually get immature statements. He continues to say "I'm going to do everything to make you fall in love with me again. No matter who I am with they know you still have my heart". That shit blew seeing as how me and huggy bear been through some shit and worked through and he wouldn't even all himself to love me. Like I said that convo has my mind in wonder mode. What if??

Just being simply_me thinking of him....

moving up

So the lil big sis m boogie put me on to a song called Lesson learned by alicia keys. Now the song is crack (addicitive like the white stuff...lol) and it got me to thinking about my own personal situation.
Now as you guys may not know me and huggy bear are no longer in item. We are just "friends" what ever that is but he expects to have his cake and eat it too. Definitely not about to fuck me and other bitches. Real rude.
Anyway back to the subject to the song is basically just a I'm moving on and putting our shit in the past as lessoned learn (no pun intend). I did learn a lot about myself and the opposite sex and even tho I may fell bitter because the things I helped him get through someone else will reap the benifits.
I guess all I can do is be me and maybe the next guy that comes along will appreaciate my short comings and know that if our good out way the bad and I have given him a second chance he wants to work at it and not go through "wet dick syndrome"....lol
Defintion of "wet dick syndrome"- you jumped from one relationship to another without exploring options and then when you find a reason to end that one you jump on every available pussy to get ya dick wet.
Nasty I know but real!!

N-e-who its time to reestablish my self in this dating game and take what I have lerned to apply it to my future. No rushing I hate bringing baggage into a relationship.

Me and huggy bear was a lessoned learned and personally I'm not sure if I would want to take that class again but everything is up to God and his plans. Just know it won't be no BS takin if I do take that class again.

Summer 2009 Lesson's Learned!!

I'm just being SIMPLY_ME!!!!

SINGLE LIFE: Day 1 & 2

So my 1 year and 2 month and 13 day relationship is over as of july 13th. My first day was horrible just not stop crying and drinking. Today I'm a lil better but the wounds are still fresh. Just hearing his voice and even turning on the T.V. And seeing his favorite movie "vampire in brooklyn" pours the salt in the wounds and silent tears roll. Break-ups I use to care less about but this one takes the cake. The one time I truely love someone and I loose them. I have learned a lot and seen a lot in the relationship and I thank him for it. Now I just have to realize the beautiful me that I am and live for me and again and find out who I am again!! I'm sad as I type but I came I saw and I conquered a lot!!

The first week is always the worst week!!

pain

I guess pain is inevitable but right now I really can't deal. I let my gaurd down to trust and love and this is wat happens. I get hurt.... Woke up out of my sleep crying cuz it hurts so much that my dreams are all about him and someone else. Can I see her no but its not me and that's what hurts. It may sound crazy to you but my dreams always come true and this is one I wish won't. I do wish him happiness and peace but it hurts to think it won't come from me. Wat is pain?? Relationships, bad friendships and so much more. It all hurts so bad but if I want to move forward I have to ask God for forgiveness and give it over to him. Its always said what God is tearing apart let no man keep together.... Well God I'm humble at your service where I should have been from the start!!!!

It HURTS now to just be SIMPLY_ME....